If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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