my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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