I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
