so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
