dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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