he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
