I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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