i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
