PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
