In the future we'll all be gay
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize