Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
