Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
