Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
