Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
