Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize