One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
