girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
