Sry I called you an 8
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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