I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
