just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
