3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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