I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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