dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize