I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
