Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
