can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The power of my boobs compel you
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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