Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
