I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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