It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
