I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
