My first STD was from a foam party
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
