I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
