She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
