WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
