I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
