Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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