how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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