proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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