Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
