Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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