ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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