why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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