dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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