K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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