I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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