I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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