please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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