he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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