I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize