omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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