if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
No stitches, just platelets and will power
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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