Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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