I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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