I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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