omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
sex in a hospital.. check
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
