also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
