what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
