yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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