never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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