Duck Duck Cougar?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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