Where did you get a picture of my penis
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
