i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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