I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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